I stumbled across this article and I had to share it. The author Sarah Bessey shares a personal experience of being and feeling shamed for her sexual impurity at a young age, and how it affected her faith and outlook on life for a lengthy period of time. Here’s a great except from her article: (Full link to the article here)
We, the majority non-virgins in the myopic purity conversations, feel like the dirty little secret, the not-as-goods, the easily judged example. In this clouded swirl of shame, our sexual choices are the barometer of our righteousness and worth. We can’t let any one know, so we keep it quiet, lest any one discover we were not virgins on some mythic wedding night. We don’t want to be the object of disgust or pity or gossip or judgement. And in the silence, our shame – and the lies of the enemy – grow.
And so here, now, I’ll stand up and say it, the way I wish someone had said it to me fifteen years ago when I was sitting in that packed auditorium with my heart racing, wrists aching, eyes stinging, drowning and silenced by the imposition of shame masquerading as ashes of repentance:
“So, you had sex before you were married.
Really. It’s okay.
There is no shame in Christ’s love. Let him without sin cast the first stone. You are more than your virginity – or lack thereof – and more than your sexual past.
Let me start by saying this: Even though this article is written from a woman’s perspective and story, PLEASE don’t make the mistake in thinking that both men and women deal with the guilt and shame that can come with lustful sin. Is sexual impurity before marriage wrong? Yes. Whether it’s sex before marriage or pornography, the Bible makes it clear what the standard is. Yet so many of us fall short (myself included) and live with this “infinite shame” of this “unwashable” sin. But God FORGIVES. God HEALS. And most importantly, God still LOVES. We can’t and shouldn’t guilt ourselves into trying to earn God’s love and acceptance back. First of all, His love and acceptance was never taken away. Secondly, we couldn’t earn His love even if we tried. It’s by grace and mercy that we can even walk this earth as Christians with a promised eternity of beauty, not our own merits and good works. I’m not saying act as if nothing has happened. I’m saying repent and be free of your guilt and sin, and be OPEN to others who are struggling with sexual purity. I truly believe we as a body of Christ has to be much less judgmental and much more TRANSPARENT. No one is without sin.
What do you think about the article? How have you approached your quest fro sexual purity? Do you struggle with your self-esteem or self-image due to a past sin? Weigh in.
~ Signing Off